I wish I could have taken one today.
I got my period around late morning and with it came my customary bout of dysmenorrhea. Then, after I woke up from a nap after noon, my head started throbbing and I felt like my right eye was going to pop out with each spasm. On top of that, my son was being particularly hyperactive and pigheaded; my warnings and reprimands fell on deaf ears. I felt a scream building up inside me the entire time but I kept swallowing it back, knowing that it wouldn't do any good.
I shared my frustration on Plurk and, in response, a friend gave me a virtual hug. That did it. Without any warning, the dam burst and I found myself sobbing quietly. I felt sad that I didn't have any close friends that I could run to and talk to. I felt trapped because I didn't have the luxury of going out by myself and disappearing for an hour or two. And, I felt horribly guilty for being mad and frustrated at Jeolo because I knew it wasn't his fault. He didn't know mommy was having a bad day and that she needed a break. He was merely being the playful toddler that he was except that today, the combination of physical and mental stress was something I wasn't able to handle very well. So, I cried.
Thankfully, my loving sidekick suggested that I grab the laptop and isolate myself for a while in Jeolo's play room so I could get some alone time. I was hesitant at first because I knew he needed to sleep but since I couldn't keep the waterworks in check, I did as he suggested. I was able to spend nearly two hours in relative silence.
My headache and dysmenorrhea are almost gone now and my son is finally asleep. I'll end this day with the hope and prayer that I'll be back to my normal self in the morning, ready to take on the world.
My headache and dysmenorrhea are almost gone now and my son is finally asleep. I'll end this day with the hope and prayer that I'll be back to my normal self in the morning, ready to take on the world.
Mood Music: Everybody Hurts by REM