Twisted

Nurses have a really warped sense of humor. I guess it stems from having to face human suffering & death everyday in our line of work and the fact that we're often underpaid & overworked. In my student days, I remember blubbering along with the patient's family if they lost a loved one and thinking how was I supposed to deal with this kind of thing daily? I had enough reasons to cry on my own… pati yun pa ba? But over the years, like all nurses, I've learned to cope & now find humor in the most unlikely situations. And in keeping with the Murphy's Law mood, here are few:

Murphy's Laws - as seen by Nurses

You can please some of the patients all of the time, and all of the patients some of the time, but you just can't please the family.

Management truly believes you are overpaid. But would never work for what they pay you.

People farthest from your work area are the least needy - and least afraid of pushing the nurse call bell. Invariably.

The more minor the injury, the more angry that person is for having to wait. While the little old guy with crushing chest pain says, "Oh, it's ok, I've waited this long already..."

That enema you gave four hours ago produces a huge "code brown" just five minutes before the end of your shift.

The doctor with the Handwriting from Hell is the one who makes the worst fuss when disturbed at 3am ... usually because their insulin prescription could be ... anything.

As soon as you finish a thirty minute dressing the doctor will come in, and take a look at the wound. Shit!

Your nose will itch the very moment your gloved hands get contaminated with bodily fluids.

The patient who has been dying all night finally meets his maker 12.5 minutes before shift change.

The correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs. Crack!

In a life threatening emergency, the speed of the doctor's response is inversely proportional to the speed of the patient's decline.

Realizing the patient you've just injected has a serious infection causes you to stab yourself with the used needle.

When an extra staff is cancelled because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.

Rest assured that when you are in a hurry, the nurse's notes have not been written.