on growing old(er)

Yesterday, I turned 35. Wow, thirty-five. I was thinking I should be feeling a little more wistful that I'd grown another year older but I didn't.

There are so many reasons why I think growing older is a good thing and here are a few of them:

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It has made me smarter and a hell of a lot stronger. Just thinking of the many stupid decisions I made and all the drama I went through when I was younger makes being older so worth it. I may still make mistakes from time to time but committing the same ones are more unlikely now. I've gained insight and strength which will help me deal with any future crisis so much better.

It has given me confidence. If someone had told me fifteen years ago that I'd be able to speak in public without feeling like I'd collapse any minute, I'd have scoffed. My hands used to go cold and clammy even during simple recitations in class. But my confidence has grown over the years and now, even though I still get a little nervous sometimes, I can carry myself through an interview, a presentation or anything similar with aplomb.

It has blessed me with knowledge and skills. From baking a cake to interpreting an ECG to preparing a meal to rearing a child, the years keep teaching more than I ever thought was possible.

It has widened my circle of friends. I love how my friendships didn't stay limited to people I knew from school or from my hometown. I've met wonderful people online, through my work, through people I know and through my travels. They have made my life a lot more colorful and fun.

It has taught me to accept myself. Who among us has never felt misunderstood? I know I have and it made me feel frustrated and unhappy for some time. But growing older helped me discern who I really am and what I want out of life. I've also learned that there will always be someone who's prettier, smarter, funnier, better - just more than I'll ever be - and it's okay. I'm my own special person and that's enough for me.

I could list several more but I think you get what I mean. ;)

While finding a new wrinkle in the corner of my eye catches me off-guard sometimes, it doesn't bother me for long. I'm more concerned about being able to accept the physical changes that aging brings with equanimity, grace and dignity.

And what I think is the truly sad thing about growing old? It's when we fail to appreciate what life has given us and what it continues to give us. Every moment should be celebrated in big or small ways especially with the people we love.


Mood Music: Happy Birthday by Stevie Wonder