Of Mothers

When I was four, Mommy left to work overseas. She'd be home every year for forty-five days or so then she'd have to leave again. It wasn't something that anyone could ever get used to but we learned to live with it. Papang pretty much became our mother all the time she was gone and he was great at it. I think that's one reason he was very stringent with us, because he had to bear all the responsibility of raising up good kids so that people wouldn't have anything negative to say. As it is, I now realize how much it must have cost his pride that Mommy earned more and thus contributed more to the family's finances. I'm quite sure others may have snickered about this behind his back. But Papang never gave it a moment's thought. He & Mommy knew where they stood and that was the most important thing.

Unfortunately, because Mommy was never around, I grew up being closer to my dad. When I was in sixth grade, she took a  break from her job abroad and came home to take up her Masters degree. So for three years, until my junior year in high school, we had a mom at home. But I don't remember anything much from those three years with her since I was too preoccupied with the pangs of adolescence and the silliness of high school life… although it seemed like serious business then, harhar. She went away again after that because two kids were about to go to college and doing that was impossible on a teacher's and a nurse's salary.

After I graduated, I started working and also went after my Master's degree. I was rummaging through my mom's notes one day, searching for some reference material, when I found one of the papers she'd written for one of  her classes in grad school and it was about me. It was then I realized how much I had taken her for granted, how painful it must have been for her when I never valued her decisions and parental authority the time she was home with us. Although I was in no way ever disrespectful to her, I also didn't take her word on anything. If she said "no" to something, I'd run to my dad to appeal. It was his decision that mattered, not mom's.

Thankfully, maturity began to set in and I learned to appreciate how big a sacrifice my parents had made for us kids. I grasped the enormity of that sacrifice after I got married and had to part with the hubby because we both worked abroad in different countries. It was then that I understood what my mother must have felt having to leave us every year, what my parents went through having to be away from each other for so long just to ensure we'd have a better life than they did.

Today, I'm still my Papang's girl but I'm now closer to Mommy than to him. The years spent apart have melted and we've now built the relationship we've always wanted. I run to her now when I'm in dire need of advice or merely need a mom's reassurance that everything's going to be okay. And I consider myself very blessed because I had two "moms" in my lifetime and that I still have the time to let them both know, to show them how grateful I am to have them as my parents, for making me the person I am today. I love you, Papang and Mommy.

And to all the mothers who are mothers, to the fathers who are mothers, to the aunts and godmothers, to the soon-to-be mothers, to those who yearn to be mothers... I celebrate all of you. Happy Mother's Day!!!