Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman is probably a book I'd have never chosen to read for myself because it just wasn't my type, so to speak. It so happened that I was hanging out at a good friend's house and I was browsing his bookshelf for something I could borrow. He practically shoved this book down my throat, along with Dune and American Gods, promising me that I'd enjoy them all tremendously. I was bit skeptical but I wasn't about to be scared off from reading books outside of my "comfort zone".
So, Armageddon will be taking place on Saturday according to the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, a 17th century witch and the only accurate prophet to have ever lived. And this is a major problem for Aziraphale (who used to be the angel guarding the Garden of Eden) and Crowley (originally named Crawly and was the serpent who tempted Eve into eating the forbidden fruit), representatives of Heaven and Hell on earth who have become great friends, have gotten used to their lives here and rather like humankind. They've decided to work together to keep an eye on the Antichrist and to ensure that he grows up in a way that he can't simply choose between Good and Evil and, thus, postpone the end of the world.
Unfortunately, due to a mix-up at birth, the child they've marked to be the Antichrist is nothing but a normal eleven-year old and while the real harbinger of destruction is living a very regular life as the son of typical English parents, totally unaware of his powers. He also isn't easily influenced as he's a child with a strong independent streak in his thoughts.
With only three days before Heaven and Hell go to war, Aziraphale and Crowley have to find the boy and save the world. Making it more difficult is the presence of a couple of pissed off demons, the traffic jam of the century, a hurricane and a deranged Witchfinder Sergeant.
The entire book is a funny, convoluted, wacky and cynical take on the Book of Revelation and if you plan on reading it, you'd better keep an open mind and take the entire thing with a grain of salt. You won't regret it though. Take it from me.
And here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:
There were people who called themselves Satanists who made Crowley squirm. It wasn't just the things they did, it was the way they blamed it all on Hell. They'd come up with some stomach-churning idea that no demon could have thought of in a thousand years, some dark and mindless unpleasantness that only a fully-functioning human brain could conceive, then shout "The Devil Made Me Do It" and get the sympathy of the court when the whole point was that the Devil hardly ever made anyone do anything. He didn't have to. That was what some humans found hard to understand. Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game. Where you found the real McCoy, the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind.
Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.
"This isn't how I imagined it, chaps," said War. "I haven't been waiting for thousands of years just to fiddle around with bits of wire. It's not what you'd call dramatic. Albrecht Duerer didn't waste his time doing woodcuts of the Four Button-Pressers of the Apocalypse, I do know that." - Armageddon delayed by technical difficulties
"Don't think of it as dying," said Death. "Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush."
Mood Music: Until the End of the World by U2